Cyberbullying Affects Half of US Teens
This story was published on RedOrbit.com earlier this week. It’s yet another overview of cyberbullying but does recognize and point out the fact that this is bullying at a new level of pain inflicted and new level of coverage, like we have never seen before.
It funny… this new bullying epidemic seems to be born out of a perfect storm. Allow me to theorize for a moment, but here are what I believe the main factors to be:
- The self-esteem movement – I have mentioned this many times. If you don’t know what it is Google it. Basically, this is the term used to define a shift in parenting logic (or as I say, a complete loss of) where parents started putting their child’s self-esteem first and giving the backseat to discipline, accountability and responsibility. By pumping a kid full of compliments and telling them they are great and always right, you devalue the idea of accomplishing something on your own and seeing/reaping the benefit of the accomplishment. You can shovel self-esteem at a child; you need to show them how to instill it through their own actions. Along with that comes teaching humility and the fact that there is good behavior and bad behavior. It seems parents have forgotten how to teach kids to play nice in the sandbox, instead choosing to over-protect them and remind them they are perfect little angels. The problem is, when something bad, like a bully, happens, they don’t know how to deal with it…
- Technology – Advancing faster than parents can keep up… as a result, kids are more advanced and parents are lost in the technology realm. Kids know how to use the internet to their advantage, especially when it means bullying a peer, and parents are none the wiser.
- Parental fear – As a result of numbers 1 and 2 colliding, we get number 3: Parents are simply afraid to be a parent and put parenting and safety before this false notion of a child’s “right” to privacy.
Have you noticed that parents of cyberbullies don’t care? It’s always the victim’s parents that take action. A bully’s parent never steps in and says “Stop it.” That is wrong. And until that changes, this epidemic will grow.
Bullying is not new, but the levels and extremes to which it is brought today are new… We made our PC Pandora computer monitoring software to give parents the edge and help them keep up with their children’s proficiency in all things tech. We also hope it helps to show parents that not every child is an angel and you need to step in when you see something that is not right. ESPECIALLY when it comes to calling your child out on their actions and holding them accountable…
I know this is a bit of a rant, but the problem is so big and the solution is so simple… but until parents welcome the solution, the problem will never go away…
May 11, 2009
Cyberbullying Affects Half of US TeensCyberbullying is an increasing problem affecting up to 50 percent of U.S. teens, with consequences that can be as bad or worse than being beaten up in a school yard, according to a Reuters report.
Whether through emails, texting, instant messaging, cell phones or Web sites, cyberbullying causes such emotional devastation that some victims have turned to suicide.
Over the last decade, 37 states have enacted legislation requiring schools to implement anti-bullying statutes.
“It is becoming something that people recognize as a significant issue as more and more students start talking about it, and unfortunately, as these extreme cases of suicide and students hurting themselves is becoming more prevalent,” Dan Tarplin, the New York Educational Director of the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), told Reuters.
Unlike schoolyard teasing or fights, the anonymity provided by electronic media can encourage bullies, Tarplin said. And the ubiquity of electronic medic allows a vicious comment, nasty remark, unflattering photos or videos to be sent to countless numbers of people instantaneously.
“With electronic forms of bullying there is no refuge,” said Scott Hirschfeld, director of curriculum and training in ADL’s education division, during an interview with Reuters.
Hirschfeld’s group created the ADL’s program to raise awareness to counter cyberbullying.
“Here it is 24/7. It is always online. Even if you turn off your computer you know that Web page is up, or that people are spreading this rumor about you. The relentlessness of it is very psychologically devastating,” he said.
Teens attending an all-day ADL conference said they viewed cyberbullying as “just messing around” until they heard John Halligan tell the story of his 13-year-old son Ryan, who committed suicide in 2003 after years of both on and offline bullying.
“He was continually harassed about being potentially gay,” said Halligan, who now recites Ryan’s story at schools throughout the U.S., in an interview with Reuters.
It was only after Ryan’s death that Halligan discovered the extent of the torment his son had endured.
“He was trying to manage the situation on his own, which a lot of these kids do, tragically,” he said.
“I never anticipated that his peers would become such a danger to him.”
Halligan urges bystanders and students aware of cyberbullying to use the power of peer pressure to stop it.
His message to parents is to communicate with their children.
“Make sure you turn that computer off, often, and have a sit-down conversation about what is going on in their lives. Create as much opportunity as you can to allow them to express their feelings and what they might be going through.”
Halligan played a key part in getting a Bullying Prevention Law passed in Vermont seven months after Ryan’s death.
For states without such a law, Tarplin said the ADL’s civil rights department has created model legislation to assist lawmakers in addressing bullying and cyberbullying.
“It would make schools and other institutions accountable to insure that prevention measures were happening in their institutions,” he said.
