Pandora’s Blog

Bob Sullivan at MSNBC did a very length in-depth piece on parents’ misunderstanding of tools available to them to help keep their kids safe online… i.e. monitoring software (have I mentioned PC Pandora is the best?). Unfortunately, he goes to the regurgitating media go-to person, who has schilled for our competitors in the past, but don’t let that deter you from reading this ultra fine piece. There is also a short video segment that accompanies.

Now, rather than paste the entire thing below, as it is long, I want to skip to the technology part and comment – much like I did yesterday, but to a lesser extent.

So…

What you don’t know can hurt kids
Parents must understand online tools to protect their children

By Bob Sullivan, MSNBC

Use technology to fight technology

Many authorities suggest using technology to combat technology. Parents [should] regularly Google their children’s names, nicknames, even addresses, to see if anything unsavory has been posted about them. Others recommend filtering software, which limits the things kids can do online, and the information they can reveal about themselves.

About 75 percent of the parents responding to an informal MSNBC survey conducted three years ago said they’d consider using software to limit their child’s ability to communicate with others over the Internet. Filtering software like [PC Pandora], for example, can be set to prevent children from even typing personal information such as their name, address and phone number. But users were evenly split over whether they’d read their child’s e-mail, as the FBI suggests in its Parent’s Guide to the Internet.

“I _HONESTLY_ wonder if most of you realize what you are saying when you say read your kids e-mail,” said David Weaver on bulletin board that was hosted by MSNBC.com. “Reading a kid’s e-mail is like: Reading normal mail they send Eavesdropping on all their conversations Picking up another phone line when they are on the phone.”

Are you serious? It is NOTHING like reading normal mail, which is sent to ONE person and not to millions (or seen by, rather)… and guess what smart-alec, my parents DID pick up the phone to tell me to get off the phone, but they also knew who I was talking to. I didn’t randomly dial up strangers, nor did strangers randomly call the house looking for a young kid. Get your analogies straight…

One response: “Hands off parenting is not the answer. Blind trust and faith are why you see kids pictures on the back of milk cartons. Now, keep in mind I am not going to go through all their mail every night. They should just be prepared to answer for anything if and when I do.”

THANK YOU!

But while three-quarters of MSNBC respondents said they’d consider technological help, few parents actually use it — under 5 percent, according to some surveys. These programs work in a variety of ways, but generally either block your computer from a predetermined set of yucky Web sites; limit your computer to a predetermined list of Web sites; or block individual Web pages with offensive words. It’s easy to see the limitations of all three, and apparently parents have, too.

This means that fewer than 5% of parents (asked) have the balls to be parents. Truly sad. And they wonder why their kids are messing up their lives, addicted to the Internet, and/or meeting strangers. Monitoring software takes the guesswork out of parenting so you can verify and have proof. It makes you a more effective and better parent.

Some [parents] mistakenly believe the software is too technical to use or easy for clever kids to foil. Or they shrug and say, “I trust my kid.”

PC Pandora is TOO easy to use. The only excuse for not using it is laziness. If you know how to open word and type a letter, or open outlook and send an email, you can open PC Pandora and see who your child is talking to and what they are doing online.

But experts say parents often aren’t really aware of the extent of the trouble their kids can get in on the Internet… Here’s a collection of suggestions from several experts:

• There is no substitute for keeping up with the technology. Don’t shrug or say it’s beyond you. If it is, ask your children to train you. That will make sure you keep up with them.
• Learn how to examine your Web browser’s “History” files, or cache. Even if you don’t do it, make sure your children know it’s possible for you to know where they’ve been.
  Kids know how to delete this!!! But if you have PC Pandora, not only will you be able to see it, but also you can catch them trying to cover their tracks!!
• Look around your desktop, start menu or applications folder for suspicious programs. (see PC Pandora)
• Keep abreast of all your child’s e-mail accounts; understand that free Web e-mail may allow your child to have plenty of e-mail accounts you don’t know about.
• If your child will chat, take some time to come up with an alias, or fake name. One person suggests you give them a fake address and phone number so, if they’re being harassed, they have a way of vacating the situation.
  Awesome idea!
• Play around in Usenet and IRC chat rooms so you can talk to your children intelligently about them, and perhaps decide to ban their use. Contact your Internet provider to see what kind of Usenet groups are available.
• Do the things you would normally do in the real world. Get to know your children’s cyberfriends — certainly don’t let them meet anyone in person without your attendance. Because in the end, computers don’t hurt kids: People hurt kids.

Most of the bulleted points above could be done easier and more effective with monitoring software like PC Pandora. For parents to not be watching and not paying attention (in some way shape or form, whether you use software or not) is just irresponsible and borderline-abusive. If keeping a kid out of school for a day to go to a theme park can be considered child abuse (which is absurd), then so should letting them walk through the Internet door in your house unsupervised be. This isn’t fear mongering; this is common sense in the 21st century.

I haven’t done this in a while. I like to showcase various news reports on the overall issue of safety and offer my ingenious commentary. Hah…

Seriously though… below is an excerpt from a great story done by Linda Brees of The Greenville News in lil’ ol’ South Carolinny. This isn’t a rebuttal, as I do agree with much of what she says; this is more just my initial reaction to some things.

As always, I encourage and urge you to click on the story and read the full article… below are just highlights and my thoughts…

Get tools to protect children using Internet
By Linda Brees

Don’t ever let anyone tell you Internet predators aren’t a problem in our region.

When an administrative assistant from the Upstate installed a program that let her observe her 13-year-old daughter’s instant messaging sessions, she didn’t expect to learn anything alarming. Instead, she was stunned to discover the eighth grader was drinking and smoking pot. The mother was able to intervene early enough to curtail the problem and turn the girl’s behavior around. She also informed the parents of two of her daughter’s online friends of their children’s potential involvement so they could also address the problem before it escalated.

Meanwhile, a North Carolina father who monitored his 13-year-old daughter’s online chat activity discovered that the girl was having a sexual relationship with her 37-year-old middle school teacher. Using records of chat sessions, he was able to gather enough evidence to convict the teacher of statutory rape.

Two excellent and common cases of what happens when parents use monitoring software like our PC Pandora 5.0… we have our own such testimonials from parents and even teachers who were able to deter potentially dangerous and harmful behavior.

It’s stories like these, of course, that fuel the sales of parental control software. But as the technology of parental oversight has improved, parents and caregivers face tougher questions about when responsible supervision turns into paranoia or an invasion of children’s privacy. Five years ago, most parental control software was used only to filter the Web, blocking children from pornographic or violent sites. Now, parents can have godlike powers over their children’s online lives — viewing everything the kids do as they surf or chat, and immediately stopping any activity that the parents disapprove of.

Interesting take…

Naturally, every parent wants their child to be safe, whether the child is online or on the school bus. And certainly if you suspect your child is involved in drugs, inappropriate relationships or other dangerous situations, it’s your responsibility to step in and intervene using whatever tools necessary. But, if parents have no particular reason to suspect trouble, should they be reading their children’s digital diaries?

I’m going to pose two responses here: first, it is hardly a digital diary. MOST of what kids are doing is public and the parents are the only ones not reading the writings. This is not the lock-and-key diary of centuries past; those diaries weren’t portals through which kids were able to literally talk to and showcase themselves to the world. Stop comparing it to a diary. Second: this is also where parental duties and parental courtesy have to be separate. You don’t need to know who has a crush on who, but you need to know if your daughter is talking to someone whom you are smart enough to see is not who they say they are.

Psychologists and child safety experts say yes under two conditions: First, establish a set of ground rules and standards for going online that both you and your child can agree on, and, second, let your kids know you’ll be checking in on them.

Excellent…

Parents have a responsibility to monitor the whereabouts of their kids, whether it’s in the real world or the cyber world. But it’s important to keep a balance between looking over your child’s shoulder every second and putting your head in the sand — somewhere between the two extremes is the prudent parent.

Exactly as I stated above!!! Same wavelength…

What about old-fashioned trust? Many parents — even those who know the perils that exist online — are confident that their kids will make good decisions and believe that monitoring their online activity would send a damaging message that they’re not trusted to behave responsibly.

Even so, given the right situation, any kid can make a poor set of choices. If we parents think that our children are immune to temptation, we’re kidding ourselves. If there’s no accountability, the chance of a child breaking the rules increases.

You answered the question before I could, but I would also like to toss this idea to the jury: what about old-fashioned respect that “youngsters” had for their “elders”? It is gone. Kids today have zero respect for their parents or teachers. Shows like Super Nanny and Nanny 911 would not have existed 25 or 30 years ago because kids did not act like that. What started out as a righteous movement (known as the “self-esteem” movement – Google it) has given way to a topsy turvey world where kids get what they want and think they are always right. Parents stopped being stern rule enforcers and behavior instructors and became friends with their kids. There’s no better example than the usual control of the Internet and the average American household. In addition, kids see the Internet in a different way: to them, it is not a convenient tool; it is a necessary part of life – which, as anyone over 30 knows, is not true. So when you have a younger generation more proficient in technology, with the upper hand of authority, and yet still possessing the immaturity and under-developed real-life skills of a teenager, bad things happen. And that is why parents need to take back control, stop being scared to be a real parent, and monitor their kids. It’s not so much the predators (though they aren’t taking things easy in their hunts) as it is cyberbullying and protecting your child from doing something stupid on the world’s wide stage that will haunt them later. [/rant]

While discussions of online hazards and Internet monitoring often focus on blocking porn sites, the greatest danger may lurk in chat rooms and e-mail in-boxes. This is especially true for older kids who spend time instant messaging and hanging around in chat rooms, where none of the usual social controls are in place and it’s easy to hide behind a false identity.

Again, nothing is private - why are the parents the only one’s not aware of what their child is saying? This is where PC Pandora monitoring software comes in…

But parents and caregivers have a new tool to help keep their children safe — the upcoming Predators in Upstate South Carolina: How to Keep Your Children Safe Symposium, an invaluable guide to learning about abductors, how they operate and what you as parents can do to prevent your child from becoming the next victim…

Sorry this is a bit long. I’ve been trying to shorten or make shorter the posts… but it’s an addictive topic. It’s a real issue that many chose to ignore. Others like to discredit it. Yet, just like cervical cancer (someone once told me), it is the only [social malady] that can truly be prevented. The answer is right there. Monitor your child’s PC activity - not just online, but offline too (to make sure they aren’t distributing illegal content or originating evidence of cyberbullying). Take a look at PC Pandora and what it can do for you and with you.

Knowledge is power! You can be a powerful 21st century parent with PC Pandora 5.0 monitoring software… BUT, with great power comes great responsibility. Don’t abuse it. Know what is effective proper parenting, and what is a senseless invasion of privacy and teen growin’ up.

Special Saturday post here because this is timely – the state of PA Attorney General’s office is doing a contest called Operation Safe Surf, to promote Internet safety for Pennsylvania teens.

The contest, co-sponsored by Microsoft and Comcast, is part of an initiative to keep kids safe on the Internet and was open to all Pennsylvania middle and high school students. Students were encouraged to help spread the word about online safety by producing a 30-second public service announcement.

Six regional semi-finalists, three from western Pennsylvania and three from eastern Pennsylvania, were chosen out of dozens of entries by a panel of judges. The finalists had the opportunity to travel to Harrisburg and put the finishing touches on their videos in a state-of-the-art production facility.

Internet voters pick the winner. Voters have until May 2 to pick a safety video.

Visit www.videocontest.attorneygeneral.gov to vote.

This is a great story and one that I hope other children of this age will remember:

Hampton girl, 12, helps police nab Internet predator
From the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
A Hampton girl is being credited with bringing an Internet predator to justice — and potentially saving the life of a friend.

Jennifer Yeager, 12, a sixth-grader at Hampton Middle School, went to her friend’s mother when she became concerned about the nearly yearlong relationship her friend had developed with a man on the computer. It progressed to telephone calls, sexually explicit conversations, him sending her nude pictures, and there was talk of meeting in person.

Jennifer also helped police by telling them what she knew. Her cooperation led to the arrest of Touray M. Skinner, 48, of Barnegat, N.J., who pleaded no contest to charges in Allegheny County Common Pleas Court in January and who is now serving seven years’ probation.

“I think the little girl is a hero,” said Hampton police Officer Tom Vulakovich, one of the officers who began investigating the case in January 2007. “She turned the tables on a predator. I think the prey became smarter than the predator.

Vulakovich said there were indications Skinner had online contact with other young girls.

“It’s what we teach kids about Internet safety to do in a situation like this. It is exactly what that little girl did,” he said.

Hampton Council recently recognized Jennifer with an Outstanding Citizen citation.

“That a student in the middle school at that age actually would make the effort to cooperate with the authorities and put somebody like that behind bars should be recognized in the community,” said council President Victor Son.

Jennifer and her friend, who was not identified, were both 11 when Skinner first made contact with them through a chat room in the spring of 2006, police said. Jennifer refused to talk with him, but her friend did. Over the course of their talks, his age varied from 15 to into the 30s.

During one chat session, when both girls told the man they were only 11, his response was, “I don’t care. I’m a child molester,” according to court documents.

“I’m proud I helped my friend, and I was willing to be there by her side,” Jennifer said. “I love my friend very much.”

Her mother, Vicki Yeager, said she’s proud of her daughter.

“It’s surprising how easily these things can happen, especially when you have a computer. There’s so many different kind of people you can talk to, some good, some bad. It’s amazing how easily these predators can go on the computer and say things that make a younger girl feel good about herself,” said Yeager, 52.

“I’m glad that she came forward. It could have definitely gone in another direction for both of them.”

Jennifer Yeager said she thinks Skinner deserved more than probation. She’s happy her friend is safe, and not chatting as much on the computer anymore.
“I would just tell the other kids my age to keep their head up high in situations like this, if they would even be in this situation. Think before you act,” she said.

I posted the full story there because it is so good. This is clearly the case of a girl who has a head on her shoulders and knows the right thing to do. Her friend, however, not so much… and the sad fact is that the “friend” is the majority of kids today.

It’s too easy to go right to this, but since it is the MO of this blog, I must: what the hell were the parents doing and thinking to let their 11 year old girl go in any chatrooms unsupervised?! I hope they realize their mistake and realize they owe little Ms. Yeager big time. I hope that other parents out there, just as much as they feel good when reading about Jennifer, also are shocked and mortified at the [not so good] parenting here and realize that these guys are out there and the are blatantly befriending your kids.

“I don’t care. I’m a child molester”…!!!!!????

C’mon parents. Wake up! This isn’t fear-mongering as some may want you to belive - it’s simple reality. Letting your kids play on the internet is not like letting them play outside in the fenced-in back yard… or even in the open street for that matter (which they should be doing instead of sitting on the computer to begin with – don’t get me started)… monitor your children’s PC activity! There is no excuse not to.

Kids are using 21st century technology in their lives without any notion of the consequences, because today it is the norm. That is an uncontrolable reality. But what is controllable is that you, as parents, must use 21st century technology to help safeguard them. Failing to do so is the epitome of ignorance and responsibility of today’s parents.

PC Pandora monitoring software is the best tool you can get to get the job done!

Going to share some great developments in 3 states with you today. 2 are from last Friday, but 1 of them is from this week – and something you may have already heard about. This has been all over the news. The report here has a good video package to accompany:

Virginia First State To Make Internet Safety Classes Mandatory
By Mark Tenia
[Excerpt] Virginia is the first state to make Internet safety lessons mandatory for all grade levels. It’s just one of many steps being taken nationally in order to protect kids online.

Right now other states are considering similar legislation. Nationally Texas and Illinois have passed their own Internet safety education laws but unlike Virginia those laws don’t make the courses mandatory.

In Charlottesville at the Computers4Kids after school program, every student that comes goes through a number of Internet safety classes before they start using the computers.

Then there are these two stories as well that are good news for the respective states and the battle against online slimeballs.

State senator backs tougher law for sex predators
By David Gialanella
Illinois law enforcement officials soon may have an easier time locking up sexual predators, according to state Sen. John Millner.

Millner, R-Carol Stream, has sponsored a “grooming” bill that would make it a felony to “seduce, solicit, lure or entice” a minor — or someone believed to be a minor — via the Internet or other electronic means. Traveling to meet the minor with the intent to engage in a sex act also would be criminalized. Currently, state charges cannot be brought until an actual, physical meeting with the child occurs, according to a news release.

On April 1, SB 2382 was unanimously passed by the Illinois Senate, and is under the House’s consideration.

What the bill boils down to is codifying the intent element of a solicitation crime; intent is not yet legally presumed from measures the suspect takes to meet up with the victim, according to Kane County State’s Attorney John Barsanti.

SB 2382 goes a step further by creating a presumption of intent once the offender takes certain steps to arrange a rendezvous. The legislation makes traveling to meet a minor — or arranging the minor’s travel — a Class 3 felony, punishable by two to five years in prison. Grooming would become a Class 4 felony, punishable by a one- to three-year prison term.

Currently, solicitation can lead to a charge as serious as a Class 1 felony, depending on what prosecutors can prove the offender intended to do with the victim.

Internet predator bill nears passage
By Mike Billips
The General Assembly neared final passage to a Macon lawmaker’s bill that would bring together schools, Internet service providers, the judicial system and parents to try to protect kids from Internet predators.

Senate Bill 474, sponsored by Sen. Cecil Staton, R-Macon, passed the House in a slightly amended form late Friday and was headed back to the Senate for final passage.

The bill would require the state Board of Education to come up with an age-appropriate curriculum to teach children about the potential dangers of talking to people on the Internet. It would require Internet service providers to inform parents of available monitoring and blocking software.

The bill would also allow judges to include monitoring of Internet usage as a condition of parole or probation for convicted sex offenders, Staton said.
A clause added in committee to the final version of the bill appeared to make it difficult for registered sex offenders to use e-commerce. Some 10,000 Georgians are on the list, ranging from convicted rapists and pedophiles to teenagers who committed sodomy with an underage teen.

Under the bill, when registering as sex offenders, these people would have to reveal their e-mail addresses, Internet user names and passwords. This information might be available under the Open Records Act to anyone who asks, putting registered sex offenders at risk of identity theft if they use banking or other commercial e-services.

All three states are taking great action – and as well they should. If there are laws in place to protect kids from real-life encounters, why not those in the digital world, which is quickly becoming one with the real world anyway… But remember, regardless of what the state is going to do, they still can’t be there next to the child like parents can. Ultimately, the best defense is at home with the parents… Knowledge is power. You can be a powerful 21st century parent with tools like PC Pandora monitoring software. While the states are doing what they can on the outside – do what you must on the inside!